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Joke of the Day

"Texts that piss me off: 1. Yeah 2. Oh 3. Yup 4. Lol 5. Haha 6. K 7. Nope 8. Chillin 9. Naw"

"""HELP!"" Joe pants. ""WHAT IS IT JOE?"" I belt. ""I THINK SOMEBODY SWITCHED OUR ARTICULATORY VERBS WITH CLOTHING WORDS."" He cardigans."

"Grocery produce aisle ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?"

"I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said ""Die, Decepticons! Die!"""

"Say no to shampoo. Demand real poo."

"What is a Ninja's favorite beverage? Karatea From Fargo Ep. 2"

"Q: What kind of bees produce milk? A: Boobies"

"Why don't ducks have teeth? Too much quack."

"I was Going to tell a Racist Joke... But then my black friend stole them all."

"I'm always caught between a rock and someone I want to throw it at."