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Joke of the Day

"Burger King is preparing to introduce a new turkey burger. Pigeons are beginning to disappear."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of shit? The bag."

"What time does Sean Connery like to go to Wimbledon at? Tenish."

"One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book."

"Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion? Because he was a slave to the cistern!"

"I say this to girls at the bar, gets tons of laughs everytime. ""So, what's your number?"""

"Jesus Sure jesus fed 2000 people with fish, but hitler made 6million jews toast."

"I asked one of my sumo-wrestling friends whether he wanted some sushi for dinner He just replied ""No thanks, I'm not a big Japanese guy"""

"Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine? A mental hospital"

"I wanted to see lot of animals so I went to the zoo. But they only had one small dog. It was a SHIH-TZU."