94586

Joke of the Day

"I was at my local home improvement store yesterday And I was looking in the window section. An employee came over and asked if I needed any help, I responded ""No thanks, I'm just window shopping."""

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face."

"The last time I was 100% sure about a decision was in 3rd grade, and that box of 64 crayons with the built in sharpener didn't disappoint."

"The best trick to ordering pizza is asking them not to cut it. By law, they can only charge you for one slice."

"q: what's brown and sits on the piano, steaming ? a: Beethoven's 1st movement."

"Why are wedding gowns white? Cuz the dishwasher should match the stove and the fridge"

"Hey Alaska wilderness show person who is about to freeze to death with no hope in sight, maybe just cuddle up with the crew filming you..."

"What is Spock's Birth Control method Vulcanized Rubber"

"Where is Wallace at? Where is his oscar nomination?"

"Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!"