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Joke of the Day

"Today I learned that johann Sebastian Bach was a big time gambler... It got so bad that he went baroque. Sorry..."

"The fish never seem to bite when I go fishing. I guess I just don't have the right allure."

"[Morgue] Cop: Sir, I know it's tough but we need you to ID the body Me looking at corpse: *takes deep breath* Areare you over 21?"

"In regards to those who lost a loved one to the Air Asia flight disaster... Don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea. (Too soon?)"

"What do you call a stingy douchebag who likes plants? A prick"

"Justin Beiber has 23 million followers and I just got unfollowed by a horse magazine."

"when I talk about computers I make my motherboard"

"If he marries someone else, raises a family, and leads a very fulfilling life, maybe he's just not that into you."

"""I finally caught up with my son."" ""That's good. Progress. How did it go?"" ""Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him."" - Vader & therapist"

"The trick to free lunches is to tell your friend ""you get this one, I'll get the next 1"" and then never see them again and make new friends."