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Joke of the Day

"Weed is not a drug, its a plant. Therefore, I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist."

"[mailman delivering package to hospital] DOCTOR: ah, just what the doctor ordered MAILMAN: please stop saying that"

"Why shouldn't white people swim? Crackers get soggy when wet."

"Cars Why do lazy people only drive automatics? Because they're shiftless."

"What's the difference between a redditor and a dead baby? The redditor never gets gold"

"What's worse than finding your dad murdered? The cop at the crime scene saying ""I'm so sorry son"""

"Why did Negan watch Arrested Development? Someone told him there were two Lucilles"

"Which rapist was a famous mathematician? Bill cos(b)"

"How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb."

"When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, ""I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"""