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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world."

Next Joke
 
"After writing Revelations, John ask God... ""Lord, the end will be signaled by trumpets?"" ""*No, by Trump/Pence.*"" ""Right, so trumpets."" ""*Fuck it, they'll figure it out.*"""
"A warning to prisoners of the Matrix Snitches get glitches"
"So a midget's at a casino and he runs into his friend the dealer... The dealer says ""Hey how you feelin? I heard you were sick."" The midget says ""Naah I'm a little better."""
"Damnnnnn gurl... I wanna to take you back to my place, get you alone and just do work on your grammar."
"What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels? A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat."
"Why was Ed single? Because Sheeran away."
"I asked my North Korean friend how it's like over there.. He said he couldn't complain."
"Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?"
"*does something weird* *looks around for witnesses* *sees no one* *does something weird, LOUDER*"