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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fake noodle? An ImPASTA!"

"After a lot of deliberation I've decided communism isn't right... It's left"

"What did the Russian man say to the boy after he did nice for someone? That was *Cher-i-nobyl* of you"

"She said she was turned on by men who took risks. So he took the plastic off his iPhone screen."

"SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive."

"What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed? Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane?"

"What is the difference between a dead hooker and an onion? You cry when you cut up the onion."

"If a fat person has a fully functioning penis... If a fat person has a fully functioning penis, does that make them a sperm whale?"

"Bathrooms are international You're Russian to it, European while you're in there, and then ya Finnish."

"I'd rather get killed by the Blair Witch on the first night than have to camp another night."