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Joke of the Day

"A drug dealer sold me shoes today I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day."

"Why was the tree stretching? So it could be timber!"

"Kalimba - Tocando Fondo bacan la cancion"

"I'm a simple mathematician... I see 281x285, I like."

"WTF is a cup of raw asparagus? Next this fucking diet will tell me to eat 4 stalks of powered sugar. A bale of jello. 32 inches of chicken."

"How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor? They both had a mandate from heaven."

"[crime scene] detective flips open pocket watch Hmmm...precisely what I thought ""What's that sir"" closes watch It's lunch time"

"If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback"

"My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are sitting at a bar... I know because Reddit reposted it and it made the front page."