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Joke of the Day

"So the presidential debate is tonight. Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast."

"What kind of bees make milk? Milk-makin' bees."

"Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic."

"I don't trust stairs... They always look like they're up to something."

"I saw this cute homeless girl on the street.. ..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said ""sure"", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box..."

"If I had a talking shark for a sidekick, I'd probably get into more deep sea shenanigans."

"What did both Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common as winning presidential candidates? A cool catchphrase."

"Why the hell would I use turn signals? I know where we're going."

"Baby Shirt Idea: Did 9 months in solitary confinement"

"What did the tranny say to their surgeon ? Keep the change"