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Joke of the Day

"As seen on a masonry truck Cement shop robbed, police investigators find no concrete evidence"

"What did Hillary Clinton say at the last debate? Nothing...because she was in the kitchen where she belongs."

"How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car? He didn't"

"""You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby. You gonna DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! ...Only Kidding! Welcome to Red Lobster, party of 2?"""

"Q: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails? A: Because when his term is through he won't be going to school."

"If asked at a job interview ""what's your biggest weakness"", test their tolerance for honesty by replying ""mortality"""

"So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what."

"someone just tweeted ""do crabs think fish are flying"" and i just know this is all i'll think about for the rest of the year"

"Tell me I'm beautiful ""You're beautiful"" Tell me I'm a genius ""You're a genius"" Tell m- ""Just give me the toilet paper, please"""

"I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it."