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Joke of the Day

"Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google - Grandfather Clock"

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"My wife doesn't like me to shave my face for the same reason I like her to shave her pussy She says it makes me look like a 12 year old."
"Judaism was very popular leading up to WWII It died down a little afterwards edit: it"
"what do you call a man wrapped in meat?"
"I'm going to start a band called Control Z We will play our songs, but start over half way through it."
"What's worse than a talking parrot joke? The Holocaust."
"What do you call a person who makes a clever point during a discussion at another's expense? A Douche"
"Sorry, I can't take your call right now, I'm all tied up. -submissive's answering machine."
"I was going to tell you a joke about an injured deer... ...but it would have been lame."
"Are you Russian? Cause I'll be Putin my dick in your mouth tonight. (Don't use as a pick up line doesn't work)"