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Joke of the Day
"Pros don't ever use the Tip."
Next Joke
"I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said ""4G."" My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk."
"Procrastination is like masturbation... ... it feels good while you're doing it, but you're only fucking yourself."
"A man and a woman walk into an elevator The man asks the woman, can I smell your feet? The woman looks at him with disgust and says no. The man says, it must be your vagina then."
"Two guys are walking down the street........ .....and come upon a dog, licking his balls. The first guy says to the second guy, ""I wish I could do that!"". The second guy says, ""That dog'll bite you!""."
"Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard."
"What do you call a slippery book? Non-Friction"
"A salesman rings the doorbell..."
"I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit."
"The squirrels on campus are getting bold. I was eating a pop tart outside and a squirrel came over and stole my credit card information"