92315

Joke of the Day

"How is a dyslexic stand-up like an MMA fighter who comes home to find his GF in a gangbang? They both punchup the fuckline."

"I love my kids like I love my flour... Self-raising."

"A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman... And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off. ""I told her I was 90""."

"Militant feminists: I take my hat off to them. They don't like that."

"Can't please Americans For years Americans have complained to the Government that their voices weren't being heard. Now they are freaking the fuck out over the NSA."

"I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato."

"Pantsing people is fun but it sucks when you accidentally look deep into their butthole, thru the tip of their penis and out the other side."

"Fat chicks are like masturbation. Totally fine to do in the privacy of your own home, but you should be ashamed to be caught in public."

"Liquor How does a prostitute hold her liquor?"

"Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay. Mom: *gasp* Dad: *clenches fists* Mom: Honey, stop! Dad: *steps forward* Mom: N- Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD."