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Joke of the Day

"I let my kids follow their dreams, unless I already paid the registration fee on their last dream, then they follow that for 6-8 more weeks."

"I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple."

"What did O say to Q? Your boto is showing!"

"Why are tennis equipment factories so loud? Because everyone's making a racket."

"Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead the dough."

"UGH, I was planning this big romantic dinner for two and then my wife called to say she'd be home."

"What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern? One's constantly preparing for lunch."

"As Winston Churchill once said, ""Wait a minute -- I never said this."""

"Instead of cursing and swearing when someone cuts me off in traffic, I just yell lyrics from Spice Girl songs out the window"

"A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say.. ""It wasn't my fault!"" credit to my awesome science teacher"