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Joke of the Day

"Weird how people say that gay marriage will lead to people marrying dogs, but the 2nd amendment is never gonna give dogs guns."

"What's the worst thing about having sex with 22 year olds??? There's 20 of them."

"Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex"

"How do you check the intonation of a guitar underwater? With a tuna."

"If you were a girl and your last name was Pelled your name would always be Miss. Pelled"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two! But don't ask me how they got inside there."

"Did you hear about the gay magician? He disappeared with a poof."

"Someone called me ma'am today and all of my books turned to large print!"

"The other night my girlfriend and I had parked in a quiet road for a bit of fun when a policeman caught us. He gave me a ticket for doing 69 in a 30mph zone..."

"People who are complaining of shoveling driveways, haven't you heard of moving?"