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Joke of the Day

"Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means"

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"Fred the Uncharitable Shepherd When asked about his personality, Fred the Uncharitable Shepherd replied: ""I don't give a flock."""
"What is the name of the event in which Hillary supporters move out of the US? A start."
"there's nothing quite as American as eating when you're not even hungry"
"Q: What is blue, green, red, yellow, purple, orange, black, brown, and gray? A: A box of crayons."
"I'm split on the topic of abortion.... On one hand I don't want to give women rights. But on the other hand I love killing babies."
"A: Do you miss your ex? B: Yes, everytime A: How are you going to fix that? B: More frequent target practice"
"Don't stand in the rain if you're stuck in a shit storm"
"You know what makes my blood boil? Temperatures above 100 degrees celsius."
"What do you call a man with a blood-covered axe with necklaces made of fingers running towards you? Why the fuck are you still thinking what to call him? Run and get the cops!"