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Joke of the Day

"Wife: What did I ask you to do? Me: Love you forever? W: M: Kill a man to defend you honor? W: EMPTY THE DISHWASER I was getting there."

"My bank called me for suspicious activity on my account & I was like ""no, I went out last night"""

"My grandfather once told me 'When i was your age, I thought I was going to be 10 all my life too. So I said 'And when I was your age, I didn't believe in reincarnation either'."

"What do you call a homeless Hitler? A roofless dictator."

"Spain now have the messiest prisons in the world. No messing."

"How you doin' Jerusalem! ""WINE"" Here's a new tric- ""MAKE WINE"" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*"

"I probably couldn't even keep a picture of a plant alive."

"Can gorillas swim? No."

"I used to work at Human Relations in the coal industry, but I got tired of all the miner details."

"I tried making jokes about people who don't go to the gym... ...but none of them worked out."