92058

Joke of the Day

"you can tell the new mad max movie takes place in a lawless post apocalyptic hellscape because not one person used their blinker"

"""yes I'm very good in bed"" *folds blanket and neatly props up pillow* *pillow falls over* ""Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"""

"I'm thinking of organizing a marathon which will go down my sisters street..... do you think I should run it past her?"

"What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? Aids."

"Scientists analysed sweat samples of 100 regular KFC visitors. 11 secrete herbs and spices"

"Diner: Could I have a glass of water? Waiter: To drink? Diner: No I want to rinse out a few things."

"In the earliest part of my life I was a man trapped inside a woman's body. Then mom gave birth to me."

"Hey, you know why goldfish are the only snack that smiles back? because they are baked."

"Why are cats assholes? Because they are what they eat."

"Did you hear about the eel party last night? It was electric"