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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the eel party last night? It was electric"
Next Joke
"Knock knock... ""Knock knock"" 'Who's there?' ""Doctor"" 'Doctor who?' ""I plan to take that answer to my grave!"""
"Recording on an Australian tax help line If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2."
"{Stalker Diary} I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night."
"Cop: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" Me: ""OH NO THIS COP HAS AMNESIA!!!"""
"What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in people?"
"[Friend opens Christmas present] Me: It's a lie detector Friend: Oh... I love it Me: (whispering) we'll see"
"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One WALKS on the MOON, and the other fucks little children."
"age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I ""slept funny"""
"Meaningless statistics are up 17% today"