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Joke of the Day

"Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing"

"You - The food smells wonderful Me - That's me I burped"

"Two Men are stranded on a Boat with three cigarettes but no matches. One man cleverly throws a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter."

"Is there some kind of platonic version of Tinder? Asking for a friend."

"When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young!!"

"In honor of easter, here's a joke my French teacher put on the board last week. Easter is a bonne idee."

"Wanna hear a joke? women's rights"

"If my co-worker says ValenTIMES one more time, I'ma need one of you to make good on the ""I'll help you hide a body"" promise."

"I'd like to put a big red bow on the coffin of the guy who came up with those Lexus ads."

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa dum tssssss"