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Joke of the Day

"Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker? Because he is."

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"Guy Fieri's parents were two lyrics websites"
"Why did simbas father die in lion king? Because he couldn't Mufasa."
"Where does a Turkey live? A coup."
"What's the difference between a blimp and 1,000 blowjobs? One was a Good Year and one was a great year"
"Welcome home, half-empty bottle of diet coke. Meet your family: Salad dressing, expired creamer & mysterious takeout container."
"Her: What do you do? Me: Global prosthetics distribution. Her: You're an artificial limb salesman? Me: I prefer international arms dealer'."
"I think my bank is trying to get me to become a gymnast. They keep sending me letters about my outstanding balance."
"Unexplainable things: 1) Stonehenge 2) ESP 3) How my car insurance company can magically lower my renewal cost when I threaten to leave them"
"What's the difference between Botox and Borax? Two letters."