90684

Joke of the Day

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt."

"Don't be sad laundry.. No one is doing me either"

"Are people who write ""prolly"" rather than ""probably"" just lazy, completely illiterate, or do they actually think that's a word?"

"Saw a chameleon today, so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one."

"I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established."

"""Waiter, I'd like to send this back"" -m'am, I believe that's your husband."

"My desires are unconfessional. No wait. Unconditional? Pumpkin sensual? I just had it. Undone sectionals? Unmoustachable? Stunned pistachio?"

"Who surfs the Net by pecking at the keyboard? www.oody www.oodpecker."

"What does a Bills fan do when they win the superbowl? He turns off his xbox."

"Girl are you a school? Because I wanna shoot some kids in you"