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Joke of the Day

"what do u call a group of /r/atheists fedoration"

"My dad told me ""Son if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind"" I told him ""Dad I'm over here"""

"What did one plate say to the other? ""Lunch is on me."""

"The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said ""Keep the change"" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase."

"Where's Eritrea? Up Djibouti!"

"Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even"

"If I ask my mom to take a picture for me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling ""IT'S THE BUTTON ON FRONT!"

"You can tell Monopoly's an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail."

"Why did the vulture cross the road? To eat the dead chicken on the other side."

"I've just made a perfume from holy water... Eau my God"