90427

Joke of the Day

"Why are hurricanes always named after white people? Because white people destroy everything."

"Okay, 45-year-old divorced women on Facebook who are ""LUV'N' LIFE!"" Calm down. We get it."

"Why can't seagulls fly over the bay? Cuz then they'd be baygulls."

"It's actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day."

"Brought Turkey home from the deli and my wife yells ""I asked for Ham!"" Sorry, wrong sub."

"My uncle wanted to give all his sheep a sex change... But it entailed too many ramifications!"

"Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O."

"How are girls and jokes alike? They both tend to suck more the more strung-out they get."

"Eleanor Rigby would probably get super bummed out if she ever heard the song about her."

"I like to point at pregnant women's bellies and ask ""makin a baby, huh?"". Then point to mine and say ""got some poop brewin over here""."