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Joke of the Day

"Arnold Palmer has died... I heard that he will be half buried and half cremated."

"I've just started playing the triangle in a reggae band I stand at the back and ting."

"The Purge... My brother said he would be able to survive ""The Purge"" if it were real. I put a few laxatives in his coffee we'll see about that..."

"I've been thinking about the Reddit rules and I thought of a major flaw [deleted]"

"They say anal sex is like your first car... you might not like it but your dad will give it to you anyway!"

"Why are TV's attracted to people? Because we turn them on. /*Badumtss*/"

"When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, ""I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"""

"I call my penis ""my aircraft carrier"" Because there are always seamen in it."

"I asked God for a bike,... I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish But Hitler made 6,000,000 jews toast EDIT: Holy shit guys, 2700?!"