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Joke of the Day

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? because they are ugly and they stink."

"What is the stretchiest substance known to man? Human flesh, because in the bible it says that Jesus tied his ass to a tree and walked 100 yards."

"What do tornadoes and blondes have in common? When they show up there's a lot of sucking and blowing, but when they're gone, your house and car are gone too."

"How does a cow kiss? Smooooooch"

"Before taking viagra, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. Riiight."

"The most significant change brought about in the 2ist century is the decline of photographers and photography studios. They've both been replaced.... By camera phones and bathrooms."

"Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But roses are wilting, violets are dead, sugar bowl's empty and so is your head."

"I've just watched a distressing film on how African children have to walk up to ten miles to bring water to their village. I think it was far fetched."

"In Massachusetts you can't buy liquor before noon on Sundays. But bless your raging alcoholic heart for trying."

"Apparently today is coming out day in Chile."