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Joke of the Day

"[First date] ""Ok. Don't let her know you're just 40 squirrels in human clothes"" ""You said that out loud"""

"My wife always compliments me after an argument. ""I couldn't have married a bigger d!ck"""

"What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater ? Terrified !"

"What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck? a daeshcam"

"I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn't put it down."

"Life is like a toilet paper... You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds."

"Is it a good idea to have multiple PhDs? To a certain degree."

"What holiday do Jewish bridges celebrate? Passover."

"A flying insect just flew into my kitchen and exploded. I think it was a Jihaddy long legs."