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Joke of the Day

"A joke is like a frog.... when you dissect it dies"

"What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster? HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES."

"When a man speaks in the forest and there is no wife to hear... is he still wrong?"

"TIL that the toothbrush was made in Arkansas. If it was made anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush."

"When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top."

"*cashier stares at obviously fake ID* you sure you're 3? *dog panics and runs out of the store barking*"

"I'm convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child."

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Sometimes when I can't sleep I stare into the darkness and think how uncomfortable it must be to have balls between your legs."

"What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails? A cruiseifixion."