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Joke of the Day

"Build a fire for a man and he will be warm for a night... Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"Japan isn't a democracy. They don't have big erections."

"*rolls out of bed* *rolls into other strategically placed bed* ""Nice."""

"What do you call a cow that's made out of glass? Steer Clear."

"What's the difference between a bucket of sand and period blood? I can't gargle a bucket of sand."

"Just remember ...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."

"Pity the poor egg. He only gets laid once in his life, and even then it's by his mother."

"School is like a penis... Long and hard unless you're Asian"

"My x-girlfriend had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh It was amazing! If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean!!!"

"No tables? Maybe THIS will change your mind [slides maitre d' piece of paper that says ""It's my birthday""]"