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Joke of the Day

"When you are finished with a corncob pipe, you can just feed it to a nearby pig. The Lord is amazing."

"*walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope"

"Welcome to thievery club. Please take a seat."

"Got a case for my iPhone even though the screen is already cracked. So basically it's like putting a condom on my kid's head."

"What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&M student have in common? They both applied to UT Austin"

"Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes? The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

"Seeing as you guys are liking these at the moment, What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat? One mucks around in fountains."

"What do you call a group of prison bull-dykes? Ellen Degenerates"

"What do a bucket and a woman have in common? Before 1928, neither could vote."

"What do you call it when someone is mistaken about you having a penis? A phallusy"