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Joke of the Day
"Brain: We got this!! Body: Yeah, no we don't"
Next Joke
"I'm not lazy. I'm just stopping the sofa from floating away."
"(OC) what did dispatch say to the dog catcher when he asked if he was done for the day? You're golden retriever."
"Life is like a box of chocolates... It runs out faster for fat people."
"Drinking game. Make the drunkest person in the room call in a Chinese food order. Every time they have to repeat themselves, take a shot."
"I can accomplish great things if I apply myself... At least that's what a high school guidance counselor with a shit job and a bottle of whiskey in his desk told me once."
"It's Saturday, so I'm as lazy as the guy who drew the Japanese flag."
"What's better than honor? Inner"
"In order to save money I installed a sound chip into my wallet. Now when it opens it plays a song by Creed so I quickly have to close it."
"Two men walk into a bar The third one ducks"