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Joke of the Day
"An opinion without 3.14 ...is just an onion. "
Next Joke
"What keyboard layout does Miley Cyrus use? TWERQY."
"What is a good opening bridge bid for the Presidential Election? One no-Trump. Literally a Dad joke. From my literal Dad."
"What do diapers and Politicians have in common? They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason."
"What's green and eats nuts? Syphillis"
"Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am currently sober."
"My girlfriend and I were making out on the sofa. Her: Ok let's take this upstairs. Me: Alright. You lift one end and I'll get the other"
"[vacuuming] Pick up your feet please. Kid on sofa: No! Ok *sucks kid into vacuum feet first* *turns to next kid* Pick up your feet please."
"What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles? Electricity."
"ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: What time is it? ME: Haha. Yeah definitely"