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Joke of the Day

"At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know."

"PIGEON MAGICIAN: I want you to pick a car, any car...DONT TELL ME!. Ok [shits on windscreen] is THIS the car you chose?"

"So a man goes to a restaurant and orders some food.. [OC] Man: ""Ugghhh...What the hell is this? There is sand in my paella!!!"" Waiter: ""Si?"""

"What do you call someone who can't turn pancakes? A flip-flop."

"Why did god give women two sets of lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time."

"Dark humor is like food Only some people get it"

"""Is that water potable"" ""I guess if you put it in a bucket or something"""

"How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson? it's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in."

"A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"I was trying to write an essay about the jews in World War II.. But I just couldn't concentrate."