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Joke of the Day

"What food is given to ebola patients? Pizza because it can be slipped under the door."

"My girlfriend and I had a fight and she asked me for distance and time, But for the life of me, i cant figure out why she wants to calculate velocity"

"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball, and tell her to read it."

"So I knew this lady, and even though she was a Prostitute..... She had the Prettiest face I ever came across."

"Two cavemen in the Ice Age are in their cave. One has a philosophical moment pop into his mind. He then says ""what is *UP*?"". The next caveman says ""I don't know, just chilling what's up with you?""."

"What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees"

"I've been digging through piles of fossils all day. No Homo."

"I was listening to 80s music today. You just can't beat Tina Turner. Unless you're Ike Turner."

"Let's make fake tan orange people an official race so we can discriminate against them properly."

"Do not mess with bears. You'll be their victim. Yogi Bear wears clothes. Where did he get his clothes? That's right - a victim"