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Joke of the Day
"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare."
Next Joke
"[first day as tour guide in New York] Me: that's the Statue of Liberty Guy: what is she clutching Me [awkward long pause]: all the liberty"
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Dismembered"
"Son,wanking will make you blind.. I said dad, I'm over here"
"How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?"
"A couple years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past."
"What did Hitler's cat think of the Holocaust? It was purrfect."
"Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys."
"""Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."" Me, to my empty bag of Oreos."
"Why are the dinosaurs extinct? Q: Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A: because they're dead."