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Joke of the Day

"Never underestimate mothers. They can turn ""mayhem"" into ""ma'am"" with one narrowed glance."

"A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working."

"What do you call an Asian person that is hit by a car? Hood orient"

"He wants my carcasses apparently. I think autocorrect won that round."

"The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me."

"Did you hear about the two fat guys who ran in the marathon? One ran in short bursts, the other in burst shorts."

"What's the difference between a waterproofer and a porn star? Eventually, a waterproofer stops coming home with cock all over them. Forgive my accent, I meant caulk. (My first waterproofing joke)"

"Hooking a clock on your belt It would just be a waist of time."

"Another grandfather joke This was my grandfather's favorite, since we're doing this now: What happened when the man lost his suspenders? He became one of those For Whom the Belt Holds"

"Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?"