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Joke of the Day

"Never underestimate mothers. They can turn ""mayhem"" into ""ma'am"" with one narrowed glance."

"What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball? The Philadelphia Beagles!"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like everyone else in the car."

"Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Sister : Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Brother : Because the people would think I am F**king you."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? The canoe occasionally tips."

"Whats the hardest part about watching Amy Schumer swim through a pool of dead babies? Knowing she will make a shitty vagina joke about it."

"BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie."

"Hooker to customer: ""I will do anything for you for $500"". Customer says incredulously: ""ANYTHING?"" Hooker: ""Sure"" Customer: ""Meet me at my house on Friday, I want you to -"" ""paint my house."""

"What does Jesus do with all the money he gets from church tithings? Jesus saves."

"I was waiting for my wife to try on clothes & spoke to this woman for almost 20 minutes until I looked up & noticed her head was missing."