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Joke of the Day

"Scientists discover that Jupiter's moon, Europa, may be suitable for human habitation. When asked to comment Jupiter stated, ""Oh, hell no."""

"[board meeting] ""So Mr Parachute do u have a name for your invention?"" ""I call it the 'Makes the Ground Come at You a Bit Slower'."" ""Uh no."""

"If I had a 1$ for every gender there was... I'd have 2 dollars."

"Someone accused me of spending too much time on the Internet. I don't know what to say. I am so full of emoticons right now."

"Damn girl, are you a math book? Girl:No, why? Because you've got so many problems."

"Went to my daughter's netball finals yesterday. What a semi."

"The Benefits of Being Masochistic What doesn't kill you makes you longer"

"Three steps to start a relationship. 1- buy a sheep 2- name it ""relation"" 3- now you have a relationsheep."

"In a meeting. Can I go first? Thanks. Gets up and leaves."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles"