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Joke of the Day

"What was the seal's favorite subject in school? ART ART ART!"

"don't get me wrong I love my life & family, but I'd trade it all IN A HEARTBEAT for the sweet parking spot I just saw this guy get at Costco"

"What type of dog suffers from being inbred? A hotdog"

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"If I was a farmer the first thing I'd do is have a meeting with the roosters & cows & tell them to wake up around 9:30 instead of 5."

"Obama looks rough after the last 8 years in office. Still better than JFK after 2."

"Why didn't the bike move? It was two tired. Sorry^that^shit^made^no^sense"

"I used to hate Vegemite, but I read that you only need to put a thin spread to enjoy it It's been much better. The cat is eating the whole thing now."

"Two things I will never grasp in life: 1. What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me."

"What's black and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old boy in my basement."