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Joke of the Day

"There are 42 references to food in the Bible, nuts, crackers, and fruitcakes are some of the... people who believe in it."

"What does a bee from Asia do? Nepallinates flowers."

"Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you're 35 and realise it's a chilling documentary."

"I want to live the kind of life that when St. Peter looks over my list of sins he gives me a high-five before he sends me to hell."

"I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time."

"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? Because he is married"

"I went to a mock trial recently and I was really disappointed. I didn't get to mock anyone."

"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."

"Ever hear about the Mexican Train Killer? I heard he had locomotives."

"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack. Girlfriend came up with it. It was so bad it was good."