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Joke of the Day

"It's because you have a penis for a face... Oh, I thought you asked me why no one likes you."

"We come into this world with nothing... Then we die and our wife gets everything. ;-.>"

"What do you call piss from the continent? Ureapean / Urinepean."

"My boyfriend and I checked out a new coffee shop in town... I asked him how his coffee was. ""It's like making love in a canoe."" ""That good?"" I asked ""No. It's fucking close to water."""

"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you'll wish you had a fucking club and a spade."

"Why did the number one go to jail? 187"

"With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces."

"I used to be a head chef. I guess it's just part of being a cannibal."

"My grandfather's dying wish was to be pushed in front of a steam train. When it finally happened, he was chuffed to bits."

"I've just bought that new Lynx deodorant breadcrumb edition. The birds can't get enough of me!"