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Joke of the Day

"one time this girl pulled me close & said ""I'm the girl your mom warned you about"" & I said ""so you chose bulbasaur as your starter pokemon"""

"Did you hear the bus drivers story? Me neither i was on the back of the bus..."

"In a land with no pockets, the man with the fanny pack is king."

"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack (Sorry for wasting your time)"

"I don't feel bad for the people killed in ""Jaws"". When I know where a murderer lives, I don't go swimming in his bathtub."

"What is a dog's favorite camp sport? Woofleball"

"HAIRDRESSER: *holding mirror* and the back? DRACULA: *nodding* um.. yeah.. sure.. great thanks"

"I went to a club and they played ""The Twist"", I did the twist. They played ""Jump"", I jumped. They played ""Come on Eileen""...I got kicked out for that one."

"Food trucks: Because the problem with most grilled cheese sandwiches is you don't spend 20 minutes breathing exhaust."

"I like to stop at the UPS store late at night and leave little notes on their door letting them know I stopped by but they weren't open."