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Joke of the Day

"Your sex life It doesn't exist"

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"What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium -old but good"
"Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night? A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog"
"An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment Husband: ""I said you were the good kind of fat!"""
"A fish swims into a wall Dam"
"Why are jeering baseball fans like Grammar Nazis? They make the badder worse."
"Text Flirting Tip: Don't reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything."
"A kiss will make her day But anal will make her hole weak"
"Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)"
"I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?"