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Joke of the Day

"I found out that for months my kid has been throwing his poop at beehives. I sat him down and said, ""Son, it's time we talked about the turds and the bees."""

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"I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would've told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn't want to get mugged."
"[Poor Taste] What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."
"Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games."
"I don't like how funerals are usually at 9 or 10 AM. I'm not a mourning person. Edit: WHY THE HELL DID THIS MAKE THE JOKES FRONT PAGE"
"What did the Ocean say to the Beach? Nothing, it just waved... Thank you, than you.... I'm here all week"
"How do I apply this ointment ""liberally"" without compromising my conservative christian values?"
"Twitter, because I owe people on Facebook money."
"What do you call a kid with no arms or legs. Names."
"This world would be a much better place if some people's mothers would've just had a headache."