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Joke of the Day

"I found out that for months my kid has been throwing his poop at beehives. I sat him down and said, ""Son, it's time we talked about the turds and the bees."""

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"How does a lawyer name their kids? Bill and Sue"
"How do you know your girlfriend is getting too fat? Because she tried on your wife's pants and they fit."
"Love is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed."
"Ok I have 2 short jokes and a long one. joke joke jooooooooooooooke. I'll show myself out."
"Me: I didn't get anything this year. Do you think Santa's magic...is running out? Wife: Santa isn't real Me: Don't lie to save my feelings"
"What are the most racist jokes you know? There were 3 car accidents in Mexico 70 people died. What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool? Coco puffs."
"What has 2 legs and bleeds......? ....half a dog."
"I finally figured out why a sneeze is the equivalent of 1/8th an orgasm... I could foresee something unpleasant and unavoidable, it's now over and I can get on with my day."
"How are condoms like cameras? They capture your special moments."