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Joke of the Day

"When I play fighting games I press random buttons and hope for the best."

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"This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder."
"I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist."
"What is the bank manager's favourite type of football ? Fiver side !"
"If your date asks what you do for a living, just say ""You let me worry about that."""
"A mate of mine held up a sign that said 'BNAG'... I said, ""That's bang out of order!"""
"OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common? They're both ballpark figures."
"Why did the Portuguese guy take Xanax? Hispanic attacks."
"Q: What do massage therapists eat for dinner? A: Spa-ghetti."
"I could have sworn I heard a chorus of a thousand tiny voices rising up from the shower drain to wish me a Happy Fathers Day."