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Joke of the Day

"coworker: those are some crazy socks me: well I guess th- socks: THE GOVERNMENT RECORDS ALL OF OUR PHONE CALLS & IS HIDING UFO EVIDENCE"

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese"

"What did the retarded chef say after watching terminator PASTA LA VISTA HAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *TAKES OFF ALL HIS CLOTHES AND RUBS HIS NIPPLES*"

"Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day."

"Why was the solider nervous about being deployed? He had arachnophobia."

"If you had lesbian parents, You would be in an endless cycle of ""Go ask your mother."""

"God: ""Adam looks kind of lonely down there. What should I do?"" Frog: ""ribbit"" God: ""haha, alright man"""

"What is the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver? The drunk driver passes a stop sign, the stoner waits for it to turn green."

"IPHONES... When I wants to talks to someones."

"Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo drizzle"