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Joke of the Day

"When i told my friends i was going to be a comedian they laughed at me. They're not laughing now."

"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."

"Mondays are made for booze & antidepressants...ah hell, I'll just skip to the booze."

"""Very colorful, fun. I'd put it in my mouth"" ""A bit scary, seems sharp. Still, I'd put it in my mouth"" -Baby reviews of stuff on the floor"

"With my pasty white skin, ample curves, & hatred of manual labor, I would have dominated the 16th century."

"What do you call 75 year old John Cena? John Cenile."

"Idea for a board game BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name."

"Sure, Sally, I'll just buy one of your shells BY THE SEA SHORE. Oh, wait, here's one just laying here, you skank."

"What's an sjw's favorite subject? Triggerednometry"

"Me: Nice new car, boss Boss: Well, if you set yourself targets, work hard, stay focused, next year I'll be able to buy an even better one"