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Joke of the Day

"A little advice on poetry..... If you don't know if you like a poem or not just perform the ex lax test. See if it moves you"

"INTERVIEWER: it says here on your resume that you're good at small talk? ME: yes INTERVIEWER: holy shit"

"Ya know? You're like a blister... you only turn up once all the hard work is done."

"*family meeting at Noah's house* who wants us to do what by when?"

"It's strange that most republicans are homophobic... especially when they're obsessed with screwing all the gay guys in the country."

"Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money? In a shavings account."

"What is Kathy Griffin's screen saver? Celebrity names dropping."

"My Donald J. Trump doll finally arrived. It was manufactured in China, then shipped to Russia for special handling."

"Your penis is so small it could fit inside a 1948 donut hole"

"What's a Jewish pedophiles favorite pick up line? Hey kid, ya wanna buy some candy?"