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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that new film on the B-17 aircraft? It bombed"

"I hate autocorrect I texted my grandma saying ""Sex tonight"". I meant tomorrow"

"A father walks up to his son... and says to him, ""Do we have any more dopted?"" The son says, ""What's a dopted?"" ""You are!"" ""Dad, that's not funny."" ""I'm not your dad!"" (Credit to my bartender Casey)"

"Sexual Innuendo is really funny until you shove it down someones throat."

"What's gray squeaky and hangs around in caves ? Stalagmice !"

"Me: *gazes into his eyes* Him: *sweats* M *winks* H: I'm kinda uncomfortable M: But this is love H: It's my job to fill liquor orders, ma'am"

"If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head."

"I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight. The people who live above me are furious."

"I'm good now. I pretended the vegetables I was chopping were actually people. It helped."

"People say you are what you eat..... So I guess it's a compliment when someone calls you a cunt"