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Joke of the Day

"You're a loose cannon, Detective. Hand in your badge. AND your gun. AND your badge that is actually a gun. AND your gun that shoots badges."

"Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends"

"Am I going to Rio? No. I'd avoid it like the plague."

"To the handicapped guy who stole my bag You can hide but you can't run"

"Kid sounds like the turtle from Finding Nemo http://youtu.be/3yDeag-HzuE"

"The Tin Man carries around an axe because he is constantly afraid Ironman is going to hit on his wife."

"I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened."

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""why the long face?"""

"Damn boy are you a banker? Because I really just want you to leave me a loan."

"Copernicus was trying to figure out why the Sun set at night and rose during the day. Then it dawned on him."