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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99"

"Reddit is like a shiny new penny Its nice to look at but completely worthless"

"In New York, people are paying up to $100 for a ""cronut,"" which is croissant/donut. We call these people ""midiots,"" which is a moron/idiot."

"50 shades of grey After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed. ""Now what?"" I asked. ""Hurt me!"" ""Ok. You have saggy tits"""

"I recently met an indian baker who claimed to be socially rebellious He called himself a Naan-Conformist."

"Vodka is made from potatoes. Which means once upon a time, someone looked a potato and figured out how to drink it. Genius."

"What did the seamen say to his friend? It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head."

"If I know anything about girls, it's that they appreciate privacy. Trust me I've read a ton of diaries."

"If you open a door for me, I will lick you. Sometimes it's awkward."

"Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees? Because they love digging up the past."